What are we bringing to the table ?

I have not posted in a long time. What I have been working on is trying to search the scriptures about what a perfect match is. Here is what I gather from the scriptures.
Men and women each have things that are so valuable to humans, even if not to GOD. Money, is a perfect example. Money is held in a very high regard and is sought after by most humans, GOD on the other hand does not evaluate a man based on how much money he has. However, GOD knowing that money is so precious to humans, He puts a huge emphasis in the scriptures on using it to please Him.
The point that I am trying to make is that whereas GOD does not value us based on how much money we have, yet He does judge us, especially the ones who have a lot of it based on how we use it.
Now the equivalent of money to a woman is, according to scriptures, her physical beauty and her youth. I will venture to prove that from the scriptures.
First the scriptures
NAS Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. (Pro　31:30　NAS)
This verse means that beauty is short lived. It, beauty, is a good thing, but like all such things in life, it does not last. See another well known verse

NAS  Ecclesiastes 11:10 and 12:1 

So, remove grief and anger from your heart and put away pain from your body, because childhood and the prime of life are fleeting. Remember also your Creator in the days of your youth, before the evil days come and the years draw near when you will say, "I have no delight in them";

 

The marriage covenant in the scriptures is based on this. A woman gives a man her youth and her beauty which are so valuable to her, in return a man is to take care of a woman and treat her well when her youth and beauty are gone.

That is very clear from another well known verse

(Mal　2:14-16　NAS)

Because the LORD has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.¹⁵ "But not one has done so who has a remnant of the Spirit. And what did that one do while he was seeking a godly offspring? Take heed then, to your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of your youth.¹⁶ "For I hate divorce," says the LORD, the God of Israel, "and him who covers his garment with wrong," says the LORD of hosts. "So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously."

Paraphrasing, the Lord is saying this. You married her when you were young. Now you can not cheat her and let her go that she is not young any more. Pretty simple. Now here is another one.

 

Now how is that relevant to us today ? Well, every woman is pretty when she is young. The beauty of her youth is what she brings to the table in a marriage whereas a man brings the monetary assets. What usually happens though is that a Christian woman will waste this short lived beauty while waiting for prince charming, rejecting all the suitors who are offering their fair share in the marriage covenant. Once the beauty is gone, the woman will usually start looking for these same men who have the financial means but lack the charm to marry them.

In fairness to all these women who give their physical charm to men who are not their husbands I do not think that this all that different from hording it and not giving it to any man, while waiting for Mr Charming. Again using the money analogy, all of us know that there are two ways to lose your assets. one is investing it in the wrong stock. Equally damaging is not investing them at all, because time works against you and the assets will depreciate. The same thing goes for a woman's physical beauty. 

 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

Is it working ?

Is it working ?
Well the short answer is, NO. The long answer. I was improving and some things definitely did work. First flirting does work, a few things come to mind like. A girl pulling up her jeans, I go like
-I can lend you belt
-she: I need one
later on the jeans drop again.
- Me laughing: It's not working, just act like you didn't notice.
Another one is "you have very nice boobs today"
These girls are always nice to me, always smiling and always playful since then. Here is the sad fact. It takes me lots of effort to maintain this character, that is not me. I enjoy it for a time but that is not me, so I have to constantly work on it which takes time. Once I got sucked up into work, I reverted back to my old character and now all the gains are lost.
The only lesson learned is that flirting is way less risky than being nice. If I try to be nice to a girl and ask things like how was your week, where do you live, any nice movies recently not only will this go nowhere but I will be labeled as a weirdo, the will tell other girls that I am just trying to pick them up !! Flirting never got me these results. Another lesson learned is that value is usually situational where I work, I am the boss, girls are always nice and they start flirting. Where I dance, good dancers have value, even if they have no game and they can get with girls way out of their league in any other context.
Another problem that I have found is that without having had sex before, and much of that I may add the presence of girls will always intimidate me one way or another and they can see through that. Being shy is an unforgivable sin, it makes the girl uncomfortable and if I am shy, she has to be as well, otherwise she labels herself as a slut.
So right now I have to chose between either marrying a girl that I do not like or staying single for the rest of my life. This is the way I am, when I am by myself I want to study the Bible, learn Hebrew. When I talk I want to talk about these things. I have always been like that. I am not a strong guy that can subdue women, I am a guy who watches Frozen and Tangled.
I will try again, but I am getting older and I have to be continuously doing this in order for me to maintain any gains.

Where is that in the Bible ?

So, can a biblical Christian be a pick up artist ? I have to biblically think about that.
The first thing is always to have the right mind set. According to the PUA community women reject men who are weak, men who approach them hesitantly. And why are men hesitant and embarrassed ? well, because of a wrong mindset that proposes the following. "This woman wants nothing to do with me, then man. I am bothering her and she has something so valuable that I want to take away where as I have nothing of a comparable value to give in return". Now the pickup artist mentoring me would want me to think this "This woman needs me. Even if I find her pretty that is not such a big deal because there are other ones that are pretty too. She's not that special but I am (more on that later). Most importantly, she is not doing the selection, I am, as a woman all she can do is, just wait, nothing more"
 So, what does the word of GOD has to say about that ? Who feels the stronger desire to be with the other men or women ?
Ge 3:16 ¶  Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy pain and thy conception; in pain thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
1Co 11:9  for neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man:
 So, the mindset that she needs me is the biblical doctrine. Now the second part and this is logical. I am special she is not. That is not always true, but it is definitely true when approaching a woman for the first time. I am in the coffee shop, I see a pretty girl and I decide to approach her. Now who is special her being just a pretty face or me being the Christian man, with the stable income, the intellectual ability and not actually trying to sleep with her just like the rest ? Now she is not just a pretty face, she might have more to her, but then I do not know that at this point and that's why I am trying to explore her and see. I know what I have got but I do not know what she has to offer in return.
Now, if I think this way and approach many women (I try to average three a day) then I will gain the confidence that I need, which I already am.

What is a Christian PUA ?

This is my first post and my first blog. Recently I have decided to gain the skills needed to approach women that I find attractive for reasons that are definitely pleasing to GOD. It all started after a very good Christian woman that I loved like crazy for all the right reasons rejected me without even giving the slightest chance to show her who I am and without even considering my qualifications. I am a young doctor, I am tall and handsome and I am one of the best Bible scholars that you will meet. After than I started thinking and came to a very obvious conclusion and that was that Christian women, the real ones who have a saving knowledge of Lord and Saviour are never the less women. As simple as that might seem it had escaped me, they get attracted to the same qualities in men that ungodly women do and then some. There are additional requirements that a Christian girl has versus less requirements. So, if I do not have the main core of this manly character that attracts women then no woman will be attracted to me, christian or not. Now that causes a problem doesn't it, because if I feel lust and I can not live my life without ever having sex then I have to attract a woman that I find attractive and marry her.
Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.2  But, because of fornication, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.3  Let the husband render unto the wife her due: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.4  The wife hath not power over her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power over his own body, but the wife.5  Defraud ye not one the other, except it be by consent for a season, that ye may give yourselves unto prayer, and may be together again, that Satan tempt you not because of your incontinency.6  But this I say by way of concession, not of commandment.7  Yet I would that all men were even as I myself. Howbeit each man hath his own gift from God, one after this manner, and another after that.8  But I say to the unmarried and to widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.9  But if they have not continency, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
As you might already know this is from 1st Corinthians 7, this is the text directly addressing marriage and sex in the new testament. If I am a new testament believer which is the only type of believer you can be in this age, then this is my text, this is the code. So, I feel lust, I have to get married. That's what the text tells me.
So what should I do ?
Many suggested to me that I just wait, well lust doesn't really wait. I am past thirty, I feel a desire to have sex every single day. I feel a need to share my life with a woman that loves and respects me every single day. To wait is to be tempted for more years and consequently live in sin.
Another problem is that if I where to marry some girl that I do not find attractive just because she is the only one available then that would not solve my problem and I will end up divorced and have an even bigger problem. I will always remember that I married her just because I couldn't get anyone else and not ever letting her know this will be something that I can not promise that I will do. Also the way I value her will always be affected by this fact which is that to me she was the only choice, nothing more.
Then came that day and one of my friends who is less computer savvy than myself suggested that I search the internet for a solution and I did find one. They call that the pickup community.These guys offer exactly what I want they support the transition of guys who can not meet women to guys who can attract any woman that they want. I started reading the material like crazy, I applied it and it was amazing, I could actually get the phone number of complete stranger in less than a minute. My self confidence was greater than it ever was and my whole mood was changed. Then I went back to the community and started reading again and that's when the shock came. Everybody in the community talks about sleeping with the girls, in my terms fornication. That was a problem because I need what they provide for all the right reasons, but reading their posts would remind me of this
Eph 5:12  for the things which are done by them in secret it is a shame even to speak of.
So, I started looking for one of these 'experts' who is a Christian and I could not find any. That's why I started this blog, may be there will be someone who can help and if not, I will write my progress notes and hopefully get the encouragement that I need to be pleasing to GOD while I learn this art.
Not learning is not an option, not learning how to attract women is living in sin. It is also the shortest cut to objectifying women and treating them like porn pictures because a woman like a man has two parts to her, the one is her body and that is something that I can interact with whenever I see a pretty girl. To me at this point she is just a picture an object, something to be used or avoided but never a person. I need to be able to communicate with her in order to personify rather than objectify.